Wednesday, November 21, 2007

7 REASONS WHY NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow
a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very
small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it
was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".





A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they
were drawing.

She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the
drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied,
Someone will in a minute."





A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five
and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy
Mother, she
asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our
brothers
and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered,
Thou shall not kill."





One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at
the kitchen sink.

She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of
your
hairs white, Mum?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong
and make
me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said,
Mum, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"





The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown
up and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.


A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher,
she's dead."





A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.

Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood
on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
in the
face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position
the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."





The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school
for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.

One of the nuns made a note, and posted it on the apple tray: "Take
only
ONE . God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

QuEsTiOnS tO pOnDeR...

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?





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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)



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Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?


You're not very good at this, are you?






Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add an other 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?


Scroll down for answer.....









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Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100.



If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe.



Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?







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Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!



Okay, now the bonus round:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate w! hat he wants?









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He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.